Freelance Whales
16.02.10
Freelance Whales popped over the Atlantic from their native New York to play a few gigs in dear old Blighty. He and She decided to go down to White Heat and check them out. Sorry about this weeks 'review'...
www.myspace.com/freelancewhales
He Said
The story up until the French House was dull boring and self opinionated so I will not bore nor distract you with last years rubbish. It turns out that she got the time wrong, something that I have accustomed to. I bristled with anger but its fun to shout at someone you know, is a friend really a friend if you can't call them a cunt...?
The gig tonight was at the White Light White Heat night, smack in the middle of the Devils playground (that's Soho by the way). The band that we were two hours early for were called Freelance Whales, a name so bad it made clubbing a seal look admirable.
I had all the best intentions of going, as a reviewer it's almost vital that you actually see the band. but what I didn't wager for was Victoria. Louise. Keats. (seriously if you want to hear about the band scroll down NOW!) I realized that I had two choices:
1) Take the number and leave
or
2) Gamble
To me it wasn't an option, all it was, was compulsion. I knew my writing partner would kick scream and bitch about it but what can you because boy will be boys and girls have those eyes that will cut you to ribbons.
Victoria - "Aren't you leaving with your friend?"
Me - "No, I think I'm going to stay here"
Victoria - "Same again then?"
It was at this point that I knew that Freelance Whales would have to wait. Over the next hour and a half I listened to every word she said, to every story she shared, just to let her know I cared. She dazzled me with beauty and intellect and I was left drunk on admiration. I plucked up the courage to say goodnight....
Victoria - "Do you want me to walk to the bus stop?"
We walked up Dean Street in a state of bliss, cocooned in the uncertain of introductions. I knew by this point the Freelancing Whales were all but a distant memory.
Victoria - "So this is my bus then"
It was then I kissed the lips of the mother of my children. I hope she had fun at the gig.
She Said
This may come as a shock to some people but I'm not perfect and get stuff wrong occasionally. It said on their MySpace and on the email 8.00pm so I assumed it was 8.00. I have now learn't to never assume anything. We were two and a half hours early. He wasn't too impressed to be honest, looked at me with pity and disgust and marched me over to the French House. It was all rather embarrassing, he likes to think he's fashionable (I don't have the heart to tell him pointy shoes are sooo five years ago). I nurtured my half pint like my only friend. The conversation stumbled on this subject:
Him - "I mean how could you not check the actual time?"
Me - "I did and they said 8.00, I even texted AQA!"
Him - "The fact you rely on 63336 to conduct your life by shows your inability to organise anything"
Me - "Well you can fucking organise it next time. What the fuck have you done towards this? In fact, you haven't done anything productive since your mother had the unfortunate luck of giving birth to you"
Yeah a bit harsh but his huffing and pouting had really started to piss me off. He stood up and with a flourish turned his stool away from me and started to talk to the bar girl.
After 30 minutes of being ignored I went out and topped up my oyster card, went to the cash point, bought a pack of fags, had a chat with a bunch of fags, popped into a few sex shops and got ID'd (made me feel slightly better). I wondered round aimlessly for a bit talking to myself and mulling over the many mistakes I'd made in my life. By this point it was about 10.30 and I went back to find him.
I opened the door and my eyes lay on the ridiculous scene of him snogging the bar girl hunched over with all the regulars staring like they'd got free entry to a sex show. They obviously thought I was his girlfriend or something and started nudging each other excitedly thing there was going to be some sort of punch up. I gave a tired huff and turned back in the direction of Madame Jo Jo's.
Promoter - "Oh yeah here you are. Is it just you? There is a plus one down"
Me - "I don't have a plus one. I'm on my own"
Holding my head high marching down the stairs solo I consoled myself with the fact Cheryl Cole was dealing with her life traumas with such dignity.
Right so the band was on when I got there and I sneaked to the front. Starring was playing which is my favourite song of theirs and I stared up at the lead and it made me smile. They are much better live than recorded, it all sounds a bit contrived through the airwaves. These nerds really come alive on stage... If I'd met them out of context and someone told me they were in a band I would have rolled my eyes and asked which one played the triangle. But they are
really good, folky poppy goodness. Plus it made me smile which is what music is meant to do. I had a chat with the lead Judah after the show and he's really nice too (I have a thing for glasses). Their Album is out on the 6th of March. They had to jet back to NY straight after the gig but are back around April so you should go see them. On your own is fine. You don't need anything else to entertain you.
